Can you keep a secret?

Folktale week 2019, DAY 2, prompt: Secret. Follow along the week to read a new modern story. Inspired by “The Rose Elf” by Hans Christian Andersen
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Chapter 2 - Keep the secret
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Love and passion grew inside her like roses,
Tricked by the secrets she started new poses.
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After moving to Czech, I felt that I finally found myself. Getting pregnant with my son was a wonderful experience. Finally, I will do something for children, for real! To reduce stress, I started working from home and I pictured myself in a romantic way, becoming a successful freelancer and spending plenty of time with my son.
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Once he was born, the smell of diapers quickly brought me down to earth. Between sleepless nights, I tried to be the perfect wife, mother, and to keep the business alive. Desperate, I took projects I did not like and that slowed down my growth. I read the wrong books and even when I set up my goals, I was totally lost. I fell into the trap of not only my own expectations but also what society expected from me. I tried to be a housewife. I cooked 100 different bio foods, and I signed up for all the mother-son lessons. There was a chance that I will make it and it looked like a perfect picture from outside so we decided for another child.
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A year and a half later my daughter was born. I was not prepared for 2 under 2. Everything collapsed. My work was gone. Sleep was gone. Again, I did not belong, even to my own house. I was exhausted and depressed.
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Instead of slowing down and being present, I tried to fill the empty hole with the new house, new expensive toys, and kid's accessories. I spent money, I did not have and instead of looking within myself, I did what brought quick ease. Our life seemed perfect: healthy children, a beautiful house and plenty of stuff. Yet, nobody was happy. It was a secret because it was comfortable that way.
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To be continued...

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Posted on Nov 7, 2019

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