So I don't forget...

....the painful beauty of existence.

Ever since my move to the US at 10 years old, I grew more distant from my connection to my roots, my culture, my upbringing, and I hated that. Now that I have been traveling after graduation, my childhood home in Moldova was one of my stops, as well as places that my family lives in Turkey, and it was an incredibly healing experience. 

With my conscious effort to go after the pieces of me that have been missing for years, I documented my family, the familiarity of my golden childhood, the contrast between our very young family member, my cousin's child, and my 86 year old grandpa with advanced Alzheimer's – the young and the old, someone with a lifetime of memories ahead of him, and someone who's forgotten it all. 

Every time I'd visit my grandpa, I'd wonder if it was the last time. So the last time, because I had ample time with him, I took the time to capture this stage of his life. I ended up being next to him during his last moments, and as sad I was to be left without my loving grandparents standing, I was relieved for him for not living this empty meaningless life that he wasn't present for in a long time. 

That is how the title came about. I took the photos so I don't forget all the pieces that make my life special, whether it's from living across the ocean from them, or whether, god forbid, I am ever in my grandpa's shoes. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Photos from my grandpa's funeral